Dear Yogini: How can love be sustained over the long term without expectations? - Tender Hearted
Dear Tender Hearted:
I cut some daffodils last week. I put them in a vase, gave them attention, praise, loving words, good water, sunlight, and clean air. They eventually withered. The daffodils that I left uncut lasted longer, but they too are gradually wilting.
New love has the exuberance of the daffodil: overwhelmingly beautiful and spontaneous, perhaps even a bit gaudy and overbearing. New love sweeps us off our feet so that everything looks like the garden in early spring. If we expect love to remain in its early spring exuberance, if we expect love to remain static, we are destined to failure.
Love can be sustained, but it will change, mature, grow, fade, hide, whither, struggle and rebirth itself. Love will take work: watering, weeding, feeding, tilling, sweat and dirty fingernails. Maybe a better question is: Can we learn to love through all of love’s stages? Can we love through the tough times, the grumpy times, and the unattractive times? Can we love through our own expectations?
The yogi’s tell us that our deepest truth, our subtle body, is bliss and love. Blissful love is our primal cause, our true nature. The world we live in presents obstacles, an abundance of citta vritti (churnings of consciousness), that distract us from our true nature. These obstacles tell us that love has gone away when it has naturally evolved. The citta vritti make us doubtful and insecure so that we turn away rather than staying and working through the difficult times.
We have to choose to maintain love. We have to commit to it. We have to allow it to evolve. Not every relationship is worth sustaining. If your relationship causes you pain, if your internal sense of self is undermined by your relationship, then let it go and try again. But if there is love, and if we love beyond the bloom, if we love the bulbs, the greens, the compost, and the soil, then love will rebloom. We will have moments of exuberance, moments of doubt, moments of rest and quiet, and moment of bliss.
Yes, love can be sustained. We will have to let go of our expectations and our citta vritti to experience that love is our deepest self.
3/21/08
3/19/08
Favorite Exercises
Here are a couple of my favorite exercises. They rank this status because these exercises work for people at all levels and they get more challenging with time. The increased challenge comes as the body becomes able to gain greater control and therefore do the exercise with greater accuracy. I like them because I get bored easily and with these exercises there is always new territory to explore!
Pilates Leg Circles:
1. Lie on your back, either on the floor or an exercise mat.
2. Draw one knee toward your chest and extend the leg toward the ceiling, straight leg if possible or with knee bent if your hamstrings restrict full extension.
3. Turn your attention to your body on the floor. The lower leg can be held with either straight or bent knee. Bend the knee if you feel any strain in the low back in the extended leg position. Use your abdominal, pelvic floor and back muscles to stabilize the torso completely. The hips should not rock at all in this exercise.
4. Using the leg like a stylus, begin to trace circles with the foot, first taking the big toe across the mid-line of the body, reaching the leg away, and then circling it back to its starting place. Inhale as your leg sweeps away, exhale as your leg returns to its starting position. The size of the circles is determined by your abilty to keep your hips perfectly still. You might begin with circles only a few inches in diameter. Increase the circle size as you become stronger but never let your hips wobble.
Complete 6 to 8 circles in one direction, and then change the direction of the circle. Repeat on the other side
Works: abdominals, back muscles, and hip flexors, as well as stretching hamstrings and calves.
Forward facing Triangle Pose: Parsvotonasana
1. Take a long walking-stride stance and turn your hips to face in the direction of your front leg.
2. Take your hands behind your back either clasping wrists or elbows, or bringing your palms together to namaste (prayer hands) behind your back.
3. Lift your belly up and in (engaging deep abdominal muscles) and extend your tail bone down to extend and support your low back. Gently lift your heart toward the ceiling and turn your gaze upward. Continuously return to the intention of supporting the lumbar spine (low back) with your belly muscles while opening your heart toward the front of your chest. Keep your neck long and comfortable.
4. Now begin to slowly bend forward at the hips. Stop before you round the upper back and hover with an extended spine for a few breaths. Then continue to fold forward and bow toward the front leg. If you need the support, release your hands from behind you and rest them on the leg, on blocks or the floor. Hold the forward bend for 5 to 6 breaths (or up to 2 minutes), then firmly reengage your abdominal muscles and inhale as you rise to standing.
Repeat on each side 2 to 3 times.
Alternately strengthens and stretches: abdominals, legs, back, and chest musclesrs, as well as stretching hamstrings and calves.
Pilates Leg Circles:
1. Lie on your back, either on the floor or an exercise mat.
2. Draw one knee toward your chest and extend the leg toward the ceiling, straight leg if possible or with knee bent if your hamstrings restrict full extension.
3. Turn your attention to your body on the floor. The lower leg can be held with either straight or bent knee. Bend the knee if you feel any strain in the low back in the extended leg position. Use your abdominal, pelvic floor and back muscles to stabilize the torso completely. The hips should not rock at all in this exercise.
4. Using the leg like a stylus, begin to trace circles with the foot, first taking the big toe across the mid-line of the body, reaching the leg away, and then circling it back to its starting place. Inhale as your leg sweeps away, exhale as your leg returns to its starting position. The size of the circles is determined by your abilty to keep your hips perfectly still. You might begin with circles only a few inches in diameter. Increase the circle size as you become stronger but never let your hips wobble.
Complete 6 to 8 circles in one direction, and then change the direction of the circle. Repeat on the other side
Works: abdominals, back muscles, and hip flexors, as well as stretching hamstrings and calves.
Forward facing Triangle Pose: Parsvotonasana
1. Take a long walking-stride stance and turn your hips to face in the direction of your front leg.
2. Take your hands behind your back either clasping wrists or elbows, or bringing your palms together to namaste (prayer hands) behind your back.
3. Lift your belly up and in (engaging deep abdominal muscles) and extend your tail bone down to extend and support your low back. Gently lift your heart toward the ceiling and turn your gaze upward. Continuously return to the intention of supporting the lumbar spine (low back) with your belly muscles while opening your heart toward the front of your chest. Keep your neck long and comfortable.
4. Now begin to slowly bend forward at the hips. Stop before you round the upper back and hover with an extended spine for a few breaths. Then continue to fold forward and bow toward the front leg. If you need the support, release your hands from behind you and rest them on the leg, on blocks or the floor. Hold the forward bend for 5 to 6 breaths (or up to 2 minutes), then firmly reengage your abdominal muscles and inhale as you rise to standing.
Repeat on each side 2 to 3 times.
Alternately strengthens and stretches: abdominals, legs, back, and chest musclesrs, as well as stretching hamstrings and calves.
3/14/08
Overstretching Injuries
Dear Yogini: What does it mean to overstretch? Can I injure myself in yoga or do too much? ~~ Yoga Enthusiast!
Dear Yoga Enthusiast: What a great question to ponder as I recover from a knee injury. Yes, you can injure yourself in yoga and you can overstretch. Like any exercise, there are risks. To avoid injury, you must learn to listen to your body. A teacher can observe your form and alignment, but cannot feel the internal strain. Your most important teacher is inside you: listen to your intuition. Pain comes in many forms: the ‘aaahhhh’ of a good stretch, the “yay!’ of challenging hard work, and the STOP! before an injury. Only you can interpret these sensations. In general, pain that is sharp or within a joint is to be avoided.
A healthy yoga practice begins by warming up with gentle stretches, followed by weight postures and flow while saving the most intense poses for last. Your range of motion will increase as your muscles warm with work. Keeping your range of motion inside your maximum flexibility and strongly engaging your supporting muscles will prevent most injuries. Good sequencing of postures helps to prepare the body for intense work and restore itself afterward. Cool down with restoratives, constructive rest or savasana.
Overstretching can result in tears and strains to muscles, tendons and ligaments. Minor injuries may recover quickly, but some can take weeks, or even months, to heal. Torn hamstrings, caused by overenthusiastic forward bending, are a fairly common yoga injury and notoriously slow to heal. Maintaining integrity and strength in the abdominals and quadriceps as you forward bend will help support the stretch. Never allow anyone to use force to stretch you into the STOP! zone.
Flexible people can be more prone to yoga injuries than those of us who are less flexible. If the tendons and ligaments across the joints are overly mobile and/or you sag into your stretches you can wear down and weaken joints over time. Back and knees are particularly sensitive to this kind abuse. Also avoid jerking across joints. Flexible bodies can achieve stronger postures by backing off of their maximum flexibility while working on strength to support mobile joints.
If you do strain a muscle or joint slow down and give it a chance to rest and recover. Do gentle and restorative yoga while your body repairs itself. For severe strains use the RICE method: rest, ice, compression and elevation and see a health professional. Working with a qualified yoga teacher can help you avoid injuries.
3/11/08
A Meditation Practice
Dear Sitting Still: Last week I answered your questions about why to meditate. Today I will offer you a 'how' to meditate. This is just one possibility of many ways to meditate and bring awareness into your body.
Lie down on the floor and rest. See how deeply you can rest, offering your body to gravity over and over again. Anywhere you notice tension, breathe, wiggle, and stretch into the tension and then release to let the tension go. Imagine yourself becoming a puddle, completely supported by the earth beneath you.
Begin to notice your breath. Feel your ribs stretch with each inhalation and relax with each exhale. Stay with this awareness of your ribcage for a few minutes. Stay curious as you sense and observe the breath.
Slowly turn your attention to your upper chest. Notice how your clavicles and shoulder blades respond to your breath. How does the breath press into the arms? Notice the stretch of the inhalation, the release of exhalation. Let your curiosity and attention stay in the upper chest for a few minutes.
Turn your attention now to your lower belly and pelvis. Breathe deep in your torso. How do your hips respond to the inhalation and exhalation? What happens to the floor of the pelvis? Rest your attention in your hips and pelvis for the next few minutes. Stay curious, keep observing.
Now take your attention out to the palms of your hands. Sense where they are in space. Feel the arch of the palm. Breath all the way out into the arch of your palm. Can you feel the skin expand on the inhale and relax on the exhale? It doesn't matter whether or not the sensation is real or imagined. Connect the breath with the palms for a few minutes.
Take your attention to the souls of your feet. Sense where they are in space. Feel the arch of the foot. Breathe all the way out into the arch of your foot. Can you feel the skin expand on the inhale and relax on the exhale. Remain curious and attentive to the souls of your feet for a few minutes.
Now take your attention to the top of your head. Imagine a flower blooming there. The flower opens a little further on each inhalation and relaxes on each exhalation. Rest with this image of the breath opening the crown of the head for the next few minutes.
Rest in silence now for as long as you like. Stay curious and keep your attention in your body, open and aware.
Slowly return to the present moment, to the room, to the sounds and space around you. Deepen your breathing and stretch out into your limbs. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Gently invite yourself back.
Lie down on the floor and rest. See how deeply you can rest, offering your body to gravity over and over again. Anywhere you notice tension, breathe, wiggle, and stretch into the tension and then release to let the tension go. Imagine yourself becoming a puddle, completely supported by the earth beneath you.
Begin to notice your breath. Feel your ribs stretch with each inhalation and relax with each exhale. Stay with this awareness of your ribcage for a few minutes. Stay curious as you sense and observe the breath.
Slowly turn your attention to your upper chest. Notice how your clavicles and shoulder blades respond to your breath. How does the breath press into the arms? Notice the stretch of the inhalation, the release of exhalation. Let your curiosity and attention stay in the upper chest for a few minutes.
Turn your attention now to your lower belly and pelvis. Breathe deep in your torso. How do your hips respond to the inhalation and exhalation? What happens to the floor of the pelvis? Rest your attention in your hips and pelvis for the next few minutes. Stay curious, keep observing.
Now take your attention out to the palms of your hands. Sense where they are in space. Feel the arch of the palm. Breath all the way out into the arch of your palm. Can you feel the skin expand on the inhale and relax on the exhale? It doesn't matter whether or not the sensation is real or imagined. Connect the breath with the palms for a few minutes.
Take your attention to the souls of your feet. Sense where they are in space. Feel the arch of the foot. Breathe all the way out into the arch of your foot. Can you feel the skin expand on the inhale and relax on the exhale. Remain curious and attentive to the souls of your feet for a few minutes.
Now take your attention to the top of your head. Imagine a flower blooming there. The flower opens a little further on each inhalation and relaxes on each exhalation. Rest with this image of the breath opening the crown of the head for the next few minutes.
Rest in silence now for as long as you like. Stay curious and keep your attention in your body, open and aware.
Slowly return to the present moment, to the room, to the sounds and space around you. Deepen your breathing and stretch out into your limbs. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Gently invite yourself back.
3/8/08
Meditation
Dear Yogini: What are the benefits of meditation? What is the traditional link between meditation and yoga? How do these two practices work together? ~ Sitting Still
Dear Sitting Still: Most Americans consider asana, the physical postures, to be yoga. But asana is just one of the limbs of yoga. In fact, of Patanjali's eight limbs of yoga, four would fall under the broad category meditation: Pranayama (breathing exercises); Pratyahara (control of the senses) Dharana (concentration), and Dhyana (meditation). These meditation practices are essential steps towards the yogic goal of overcoming suffering and leading a life resonant with meaning and purpose.
Asana is usually taught as a preliminary step toward sitting meditation. While Asana is a physical exercise, it is also a movement meditation and a flowing prayer. Asana increases strength, flexibility, balance and grace and the mind is trained to connect with the flow of the body and breath. This practice develops a mind-body connection that 'stills the fluctuations of the mind' so that the body can literally sit still for meditation.
Meditation practice deepens the focal power of the mind, a very useful skill. The ability to 'still mental fluctuations' allows us to live, work and accomplish our goals with less stress and less effort. We can actively relax when faced with stressful situations and let go of situations beyond our control. Stress hormones are reduced and the multitude of illnesses related to stress are abated. As the practitioner gains control of body and breath, health, vibrancy and physical well being are increased.
Continued practice of asana and meditation helps us to naturally give up unhealthy life style choices. Our natural state of being gives us deep pleasure reducing our dependence on external stimuli and this facilitates the journey of overcoming compulsions and addictions. Both our mental and physical improves and we experience a sense of freedom.
There are many great places to learn asana and meditation in Corvallis: yoga studios, athletic centers, gyms OSU and LBCC. For those ready to go deeper, Cedar and Fir Studio hosts Satsang (pranayama, chanting, and meditation) on the third Sunday of each month from 10:30a to noon (by donation). The next Satsang will happen on March 16th.
Namaste,
Yogini Lisa
Lisa Wells is the owner of Cedar and Fir Studio, a space for yoga, pilates and dance. You can pose your questions to Lisa by e-mailing her at: lisa@cedarandfir.com.
Dear Sitting Still: Most Americans consider asana, the physical postures, to be yoga. But asana is just one of the limbs of yoga. In fact, of Patanjali's eight limbs of yoga, four would fall under the broad category meditation: Pranayama (breathing exercises); Pratyahara (control of the senses) Dharana (concentration), and Dhyana (meditation). These meditation practices are essential steps towards the yogic goal of overcoming suffering and leading a life resonant with meaning and purpose.
Asana is usually taught as a preliminary step toward sitting meditation. While Asana is a physical exercise, it is also a movement meditation and a flowing prayer. Asana increases strength, flexibility, balance and grace and the mind is trained to connect with the flow of the body and breath. This practice develops a mind-body connection that 'stills the fluctuations of the mind' so that the body can literally sit still for meditation.
Meditation practice deepens the focal power of the mind, a very useful skill. The ability to 'still mental fluctuations' allows us to live, work and accomplish our goals with less stress and less effort. We can actively relax when faced with stressful situations and let go of situations beyond our control. Stress hormones are reduced and the multitude of illnesses related to stress are abated. As the practitioner gains control of body and breath, health, vibrancy and physical well being are increased.
Continued practice of asana and meditation helps us to naturally give up unhealthy life style choices. Our natural state of being gives us deep pleasure reducing our dependence on external stimuli and this facilitates the journey of overcoming compulsions and addictions. Both our mental and physical improves and we experience a sense of freedom.
There are many great places to learn asana and meditation in Corvallis: yoga studios, athletic centers, gyms OSU and LBCC. For those ready to go deeper, Cedar and Fir Studio hosts Satsang (pranayama, chanting, and meditation) on the third Sunday of each month from 10:30a to noon (by donation). The next Satsang will happen on March 16th.
Namaste,
Yogini Lisa
Lisa Wells is the owner of Cedar and Fir Studio, a space for yoga, pilates and dance. You can pose your questions to Lisa by e-mailing her at: lisa@cedarandfir.com.
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